Mike is a little boy. He is only five years old. He is too small to go to school. So he can not read and write.
One day he stood at my desk with a pencil in his hand. There was a big piece of paper on the desk. He wanted to draw a picture of himself. He drew lines and cleared them out, then drew more and cleared them out again. When I looked at the picture, he wasn’t happy. “Well,” he said at last to me, “I’ll put a tail on it and make it a monkey.”
He began to add the tail. I began to laugh.
故事29 男孩和猴子
迈克是一个小男孩,他只有5岁。他太小还没有上学,因此也不会读和写。 一天,他手里拿着一支铅笔站在我的桌子前。桌子上放着一张大纸,他要画自画像。他画了几笔就擦掉了,再画几笔,有擦掉了。当我看一幅画时,他很不高兴。 “好吧,”他最后和我说,“我就再加一条尾巴,把他画成一只猴子吧!” 他开始加上小尾巴,我大笑起来。
Story 30 Mike and the Pot
One day, Mike’s mother needed a pot. She asked Mike to borrow one from her friend. So Mike went to the friend’s house. She gave him a big pot. On the way home Mike put it down on the road and looked at it. It was made of clay and had three legs. Then he said to the pot, “You have three legs and I have only two. You can carry me for a few minutes.” Then Mike sat down inside the pot. But the pot didn’t move. Mike got angry and broke it then carried the broke pot home. His mother was angry. “You are stupid.” She said. But Mike thought, “I’m not stupid. Only a stupid person carried something with three legs.”
故事30 迈克和锅
一天,迈克的妈妈需要一口锅,她让迈克向她朋友借一口锅。于是,迈克去了她的朋友家,她的朋友借个他一口大锅。在回家的路上,迈克把锅放在路上看了看它,它是一口粘土制成的三条腿的锅。
然后他对锅说:“你有三条腿而我只有两条腿。 你应该背我一会儿。”然后,迈克坐在锅里,但是锅一动也不动。
迈克很生气地把锅打破了,但后拿着破锅向家里走去。到家后他的妈妈很生气
地说:“你真笨。”但迈克认为:“我不笨,只有愚蠢的人才会带回三条腿的锅。”
Story 31 The Broom Seller and the Barber
A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.
“Two pence,” said the man.
“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”
The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave. “A penny,” said the barber.
“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”
故事31 卖扫帚的人和理发师
一个卖扫帚的人去理发店修面。理发师从他那里买了一把扫帚。当理发师给他修面后,问一下他扫帚的价格。 买扫帚的人说:“两个便士。”
“不,不。”理发师说:“ 我只出一个便士,如果你认为不狗的话,可以把扫帚拿回去。”
卖扫帚的人拿回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱。 “一便士。”理发师说。
卖扫帚的人说:“我给你半个便士,如果不狗的话,请把我的胡子还给我。”
Story 32 Sun the Ice
Once a simpleton’s wife told him to buy some ice.
Two hours later, he didn’t come back. She wanted to know why he didn’t come back and went out to have a look. She saw he was standing in the sun at the gate and watching the ice melting.
“What’s the matter?” She asked him. “Why don’t you bring it in?”
“I saw the ice was wet and I was afraid that you would scold me so I’m running it dry.” The simpleton answered.
故事32 晒冰
从前有一个笨人的妻子让她的丈夫买几块冰。 两个小时后,他还没回来。
她想知道他为什么没回来,就出去看了看,发现她的丈夫在门口站着,在太阳下晒冰,看着冰融化。
她问他:“怎么啦?你为什么不把它拿进来?”
“我看见冰是湿的,恐怕你会训斥我,因此,我正在把它晒干。”笨人回答道。
Story 33 Animals
There are many kinds of animals in the world. People don’t know the exact numbers. In the zoo, people can see many kinds of animals. For example, lions, tigers, they are scary. Monkey, foxes are intelligent. People usually think pandas; koala bears are so cute and smart. Some animals live in the water, such as dolphins. They need a lot of water for their home. And elephants with long nose are very strange. They can sing and dance. The giraffes are quite tall because of their long necks. So they can reach the top of the trees.
故事 33 动物
世界上有许多钟动物,人们不知道它们确切的数目。在动物园里人们可以看到很多种类的动物,如:狮子、老虎,它们都令人害怕;猴子和狐狸是狡猾的;人们认为熊猫,考拉熊是如此伶俐和聪明。有些动物居住在水里,如海豚,它们的家需要很多的水。大象长有奇特的长鼻子,它们会唱歌和跳舞。长颈鹿长着非常长的脖子,因为他们可以够到数的顶部。
Story 34 A Silly Man
Fred was going to school. When he passed a park, he saw a man sawing a big branch from a tree. The man was on a ladder and the ladder was against the big branch he was sawing. “Hi, it is dangerous.” Fred shouted. “After you cut off the branch, you will fall, too.” But the man didn’t believe him, and said angrily, “Go away, you little thing. It’s none of your business.”
Fred could do nothing, so he left. He didn’t go far before he heard something
crashed. He rushed back and found the man lying on the ground. Fred asked some men for help. They carried the man to the hospital.
故事34 一个愚蠢的人
弗雷德走在上学的路上。路过一个公园时,他看见一个人在锯一棵大树的树枝。“嗨,你这么做很危险的。”费雷得喊道:“你锯了那树枝后,你会摔下来的。”而那个人不相信他,愤怒地说:“快走开,小东西,没有你的事。”
费雷德没趣地离开了。他没有走多远就听见一声响,他急忙跑回去,发现那个人躺在地上。
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英语幽默故事
There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss.’” 老板最大 有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉,其中一只卖五千元,另一只卖一万元,还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板:「为什么这只要卖五千元?这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了!」老板说:「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问:「那这只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「他除了会说话之外,
还会表演一些有趣的动作,好比说跳舞等等,所以才卖这么贵。」顾客接着又问:「那第三只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌,也没看过他跳舞,什么都没有!不过另外两只叫他:『老板!』」
Where is the egg?
Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word \Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher:Then where is the “egg\ Student:In the cake,Sir. 鸡蛋在哪里?
老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生
Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”
汤姆是个小孩, 他才7岁。 当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。他买了张票进去了。 但没过两三分钟他就出来了,然后买了第二张票又进去了。 几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。 接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。 一个女的问她,“你为什么要买那么多票啊? 你见到了几个朋友?\没有, 我里面没朋友, 但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了\
Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him. Man:He is really somebody.What does do? Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery