my nineteenth birthday and I did not know how to pronounce the word \I thumbed the pages and saw strange words and strange names. I shook my head, disappointed. I looked 他从来都没有想过,他和他所做的事对于同他有联系的人来说并不是最令人感兴趣的。他对天底下差不多作何事情都有自己的观点。无论是素食主义、戏剧、政治还是音乐。为了证明自已at the other book; it was called Prejudices, I knew what that 的观点,他写了小册子信,书,和成千上万的字。word meant; I had heard it all my life. And right off I was 共数百页。通常是靠别人资助-而且总是坐着把这些东西大声的读。一念就是几个小时,给他的on guard against Mencken's books. Why would a man want to call 朋友和家人。 a book Prejudices The word was so stained with all my memories 他写歌剧,一有了故事的概要,他就邀请——of racial hate that I cold not conceive of anybody using it 说得更准确一点是召唤——他那一帮朋友去他for a title. Perhaps I had made a mistake about Mencken A man who had prejudices must be wrong. 家,听他念故事概要。他请他们来不是听他们批评意见的,而是听他们赞扬的。当歌剧的词全部写完后,他的朋友们还得再来听他读整部戏的歌When I showed the books to Mr. Falk, he looked at me and 词。而后你就拿去发表,可有时歌词写好了,数frowned. \年后其配乐才完成。他弹钢琴象一个作曲家,一样弹得糟糕透顶,而且他还总是坐在钢琴傍,面对有他同时代的最优秀的钢琴家在场的一群人,\数小时地为他们演奏;不用说,他演奏的都是自reading those books, I want you to tell me what you get out 己写的音乐作品。他有作曲家的嗓子。他总是邀请杰出的声乐家到家里,给他们演唱自己写的歌of them.\剧,一个人演所有的角色。 That night in my rented room, while letting the hot water 他的感情就象6岁孩子那样极不稳定。只要run over my can of pork and beans in the sink, I opened A Book 感到不舒服,他总是乱骂一通,直跺脚,要么就of Preface and began to read. I was jarred and shocked by the 情绪极其低落,伤心地说要去东方当和尚,度过余生。十分钟后如果有什么事让他高兴的话,他style, the clear, clean, sweeping sentences. Why did he write 就会冲出门,在花园里跑来跑去,或者在沙发上like that And how did one write like that I pictured the man 跳上跳下,或头朝下倒立着。一只爱犬死了他会as a raging demon, slashing with his pen, consumed with hate, denouncing everything American, extolling everything 痛不欲生,可他要是冷酷起来,连罗马皇帝也会发抖的。 他简直缺乏任何责任感。他不仅好象没有能European or German, laughing at the weaknesses of people, 力养活自己,而且他也从来没有想到有这么做的mocking God, authority. What was this I stood up, trying to 责任。他坚信人们该养活自己。由于是这样认为的,他向所有的人——无论是男人还是女人,无realize what reality lay behind the meaning of the words … 论是朋友还是陌生人——谁有能力拿出钱来,他Yes, this man was fighting, fighting with words. He was using 就向谁借。他写信向别人乞讨,一写就是二十封;words as a weapon, using them as one would use a club. Could 有时奴颜婢膝,毫无羞耻,有时却非常傲慢地把words be weapons Well, yes, for there they were. Then, maybe, 别人给他的特权赏给他心目中的捐助人,如果领受者拒绝接受,他就会万分愤怒。我没有找到他perhaps, I could use them as a weapon No. It frightened me. 把钱付给或还给没有法律依据的借款人的任何记I read on and what amazed me was not what he said, but how on earth anybody had the courage to say it. 录。 只要弄得到钱,他就象印度王公那样花销。一旦他的某部歌剧有望演出,就足以使他欠下的I ran across many words whose meanings I did not know, 帐单十倍于预计给他的版税。无人会知道——他and either looked them up in a dictionary or, before I had 本人也一定不曾知道——他欠别人多少钱。但我们肯定知道的是,资助他最多的人曾经给过他六a chance to do that, encountered the word in a context that 千块钱来偿还在某个城市要得最多的欠款。而一made its meaning clear. But what strange world was this I 年后为了能使他在另一城市生活而不会因债务入concluded the book with the conviction that I had somehow 狱又不得不给他一万六千元。 overlooked something terribly important in life. I had once tried to write, had once reveled in feeling, had let my crude 在其他方面,他同样肆无忌惮。在他一生中,与他有过关系的女人无计其数。他的第一位妻子和他生活了二十年,容忍、原谅他的种种不忠行imagination roam, but the impulse to dream had been slowly 为。他的第二位妻子原来是对他最忠诚、最崇拜beaten out of me by experience. Now it surged up again and I hungered for books, new ways of looking and seeing. It was 的朋友的妻子,可他却把她从朋友那里夺走了。更有甚者,当他还在设法说服她离开第一位丈夫时就写信给朋友,问他能否穿针引线介绍某位有not a matter of believing or disbelieving what I read, but 钱的女人——只有她有钱,他都会为了她的钱而of feeling something new, of being affected by something that 娶她。 在和他人交往中他也非常自私。他对朋友的made the look of the world different. 喜好完全是由他们对他是否忠诚,或者他们是否I forget more notes and my trips to the library became 在经济上或艺术上对他有用来决定的。要是他们frequent. Reading grew into a passion. My first serious novel 让他有所失望——哪怕是拒绝宴会邀请——或是was Sinclair Lewis's Main Street. It made me see my boss, Mr. 开始不是那么有用了,他就会毫不犹豫地不与他们往来了。他在晚年只剩一个朋友,而且还是在Gerald, and identify him as an American type. I would smile 中年时认识的。 when I saw him lugging his golf bags into the office. I had always felt a vast distance separating me from the boss, and now I felt closer to him, though still distant. I felt now 这个怪才名叫理查德·瓦格纳。我所讲的在关他的一切都有案可查——在报纸上,在警方报告中,在认识他的人的证词里,在他自己的信件中,和他自传的字里行间里都能可以找到记录。that I knew him, that I could feel the very limits of his narrow 这个记录奇怪的是它对此人没有丝毫影响。 life. And this had happened because I had read a novel about a mythical man called George F. Babbitt. 因为这位身材矮小、多病、难以相处、让人着魔的人一直是正确的。这就给我们开了一个玩笑。他是世界上最伟大的戏剧家之一;他是伟大I read Dreiser's Jennie Gerhardt and Sister Carrie and 的思想家;他是最伟大的音乐天才之一。迄今为they revived in me a vivid sense of my mother's suffering; 止世人所看到的。世人的确应养着他。 I was overwhelmed. I grew silent, wondering about the life 当你细想他所写的东西时——十三部歌剧和音乐剧,其中十一部仍在上演,八部无可争议地around me. It would have been impossible for me to have told 列入世界音乐剧名著——当你倾听他所写的一切anyone what I derived from these novels, for it was nothing less than a sense of life itself. All my life had shaped me 时,他无论是欠债还是让人伤心,所有这些代价似乎算不了什么。想想曾经给予的那份奢侈吧,由于拿破仑的命运,他毁来了法国,肆虐了欧洲。for the realism, the naturalism of the modern novel, and I 这样一想,也许你就会同意,几千元的债务用来could not read enough of them. Steeped in new moods and ideas, I bought a ream of paper 换取《指环》三部曲,代价并不算高。 就是他对朋友和妻子不忠,又算得了什么他有一位至死都能忠心耿耿的爱人:音乐。他一刻and tried to write; but nothing would come, or what did come 都没有与自己信仰的,梦想的东西进行妥协。他was flat beyond telling. I discovered that more than desire 的音乐中没有一行是一般人所能构思出来的。即and felling were necessary to write and I dropped the idea. Yet I still wondered how it was possible to know people 使他乏味或极其糟糕,也只是大手笔中的乏味。就是他最严重的错误中也有伟大之处。这可不是原谅不原谅的事情。又抓又扯,想冲出来,尖叫sufficiently to write about them Could I ever learn about life 着,要他把身体的乐曲谱出来。奇迹是在短暂的and people To me, with my vast ignorance, my Jim Crow station in life, it seemed a task impossible of achievement. I now knew what being a Negro meant. I could endure the hunger. I had learned to live with hate. But to feel that there were feelings denied me, that the very breath of life itself was 七十年中,他竟然完成了这一切。就算是一个天才,他没有时间做普通人这奇怪吗 齐里茨基法 总有一天会有人去研究动物对历史的影响。在这样的研究里,格雷厄姆太太的猫肯定会包括beyond my reach, that more than anything else hurt, wounded 在其中。现在已经确切地证实了,这只猫的经历me. I had a new hunger. HOW COULD ANYTHING THAT FEELS SO BAD BE SO GOOD 使人萌发了快速冷冻人体这一想法,而这一想法转而又使齐里茨基法获得了通过。 我们还得回到了1950年,在洛杉矶报纸的合订本中去寻找这个故事。简言之,有位弗雷德·C·格雷厄姆太太,把一大堆食品放进了家用冰柜,就在同一天,她的宠物猫失踪了。她从来Maybe it is time to adopt a new strategy in trying to 没有认为这两件事之间会有联系。猫直到六星期figure out why life today is so difficult, and what can be 后才被发现当它的主人去冰箱取东西时。然他很done about it. Assume that not only are things often not what they seem, they may be just the opposite of what they seem. When it comes to human affairs, everything is paradoxical. People are discontented these days, for example, not because things are worse than ever, but because things are 爱这宠物,但我们可以想象,发现它时,她的恐惧胜于悲伤。她把被冰裹着的小躯体拎出冰柜,放在地板上;然后,赶在晕倒之前跑到了邻居家。 格雷厄姆太太苏醒过来后变得底里;好几个小时过去了,她才完全平静下来,说服人们所有事情不是她撰的。她劝邻居陪伴她回家。他们在冰柜前发现了一小滩水,一只湿透的猫正忙better than ever. Take marriage. In California there are about 忙碌碌舐着自己。邻居后来告诉记者,这只猫正six divorces for every ten marriages -- even higher in some 舐着它的后腿。上面还有一些冰。对于他来说是of the better communities. One must admit that a good deal of discontent is reflected in those statistics. But the 相信这件事的。 一周以后发表了一篇跟踪报道。报道说,那次冒险经历,未使猫受到伤害。报道进一步引explanation so frequently offered -- that the institution of 用格雷厄姆太太的话说,这只猫在失踪之前曾大marriage is in a state of collapse -- simply does not hold. 吃了一顿。它一得救,身上一干,便睡了很大一会,跟它往常吃饭后的行为一模一样,而且直到Marriage has never been more popular and desirable than is 晚上它都没有再饿。生命的进程突然完全中止,it now; so appealing in fact, that even those who are in the 而在解冻之后,生命正好在曾经中止的地方重新process of divorce can scarcely wait for the law to allow them 开始,这一点报道中作了明确的叙述。 to marry again. The problem is that people have never before entered 也许把所有的责任推给一只不幸的猫不公平。这种事如果发生在国内其它任何地方,都会成为人们的谈资。只有少数人信,多数人不信,marriage with the high expectations they now hold. Throughout 接着人们也就会将它遗忘。然而它却发生在洛杉history, the family has been a vital unit for survival, starting as a defense system for physical survival, and gradually becoming a unit for economic survival. Now, of 矶。在那个地方,可能也只有在那个地方,这件事根本没被人忘记。它所揭示的原理为一种极为成功的生意打下了基础。 我们该怎样自待齐里茨基兄弟是罪魁祸course, the family has become a physical and economic 首还是开拓者如果赞成后一种看法,我们就必须承认,他们无疑是具有探索精神和心甘情愿到未liability rather than an asset. Having met, as a society, the 知领域去冒险的精神。然而,他们的开拓精神——basic survival and security needs, people simply don't need 如果我们同意这样说的话——同样毫无疑问与寻each other anymore to fight Indians or spin yarn -- or wash 找快速捞钞票的门道有紧密联系。 dishes or repair electrical plugs for that matter. The bonds 在他们的第一批顾客中,有的支付了高达一万五千美元的首次冷冻费和每年一千美元的of marriage and family life are no longer functional, but 昂贵的储存费。齐氏兄弟拥有并经营的这家工厂,affectional. People used to come to love each other because 是全世界最大的快速冷冻厂之一。他们宣称道,they needed each other. Now it's just the other way around. They need each other because they love each other. 把冷冻设备改为储藏设备来装人,花费极高,所以收费也随之而高。 那些付过这些高额费用的早期顾客们数Listening to the complaints of those recently divorced, 年之后解冻了,当他们发现其他顾客只交三千美one seldom hears of brutality and desertion, but usually 元就获得了同样的服务。他们扬言要公开抗议。齐里茨基兄弟为此支付了一笔巨额退款。这时的something like, \齐氏兄弟已经能够轻而易举地付出这笔钱。而且,educational differences between us were simply too great to 因为他们不欢迎对他们企业的任何宣传,所有的overcome\退款都是毫无怨言地付出的。三千美元成了标准let me be me\价,外加每年一百美元的储存费,解冻时不另收费。 complaints are interesting, because they reflect high-order discontent resulting from the failure of marriage to meet the great expectations held for it. Couples now expect -- and demand -- communication and understanding, shared values and 齐里茨基兄弟是彻头彻尾的生意人。只要付了钱,任何人都可以把自己冷藏起来,想多久就多久,他们不会问任何问题。所有费用必须预先支付,这是铁的规定。 罪犯是第一批申请快速冷冻的顾客。在goals, intellectual companionship, great moments of 过去的年月里,他们构成了齐里茨基兄弟主意的主体。抢劫之后,把赃物藏起来(留出至关重要intimacy. By and large, marriage today actually does deliver 的那笔必须预先支付的款项),然后到齐里茨基兄such moments, but as a result couples have gone on to burden 弟那里,在他们美妙的冷藏室呆上五年或是十年。the relationship with even greater demands. To some extent 出来时发现当年追捕他们的叫喊声早已不复存it has been the success of marriage that has created the discontent. 在,他们的罪行已被遗忘。他们取出赃物,奢侈地度过余生。 由于他们的顾客大多声名狼藉,齐里茨The same appears to be true in the civil rights movement. 基兄弟便用一套数字来记录所有的档案。姓名从The gains that have been made have led not to satisfaction but to increased tension and dissatisfaction, particularly 不在登记册上出现,保证不让人知道。 寻找逃犯的执法人员,既想不出办法来破除这套体系,也找不到法律条文来证明快速冷冻为among those benefiting from such gains. The discontent is 非法行为。也许,事实是,他们并没有认真地去higher in the North than in the South, higher in cities than 寻找可以适用的法律。只要齐里茨基兄弟保持缄默,不做广告,也不引起公众的注意,他们就可in rural areas. 以安全地继续从事那种奇特的生意。 The disturbing paradox of social change is that 洛杉矶的市政官员,尤其是警察,享受了一improvement brings the need for more improvement in 段从未有过的好日子。于是,他们便永远地告别constantly accelerating demands. So, compared to what used 那份谋生计的辛苦工作。 尽管洛杉矶有相当一部分人成为永久的补贴to be, society is way ahead; compared to what might be, it 对象,齐里茨基兄弟的财产还是增长到令人难以is way behind. Society is enabled to feel that conditions are 置信的地步。到他们去世,把生意传给儿子们的rotten, because they are actually so good. Another problem is that everything is temporary, nothing 时候,它已是一座金矿,而且是一座用之不竭的金矿。 除罪犯之外,大多数申请快速冷冻的人似乎lasts. We have grown up with the idea that in order to develop 都是些陷于难以维持的婚姻困境中的丈夫或妻personal security we need stability, roots, consistency, and 子。后来,他们的经历被详细地写进了忏悔杂志。通常是丈夫逃到洛杉矶,自闭适当的时间,出来familiarity. Yet we live in a world which in every respect 后,他那不温柔的妻子早已去世或另作了安排。is continually changing. Whether we are talking about 如果我们相信这些杂志,那么这个计划在大多数sky-scrapers or family life, scientific facts or religious 情况下都会让人非常满意。 values, all are highly temporary and becoming even more so. 父辈们所犯下的罪孽可能会报应到子辈们身上,但是我们常常看到的是子辈们断送了你辈们
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