v1.0 可编辑可修改 Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, \\
\\
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, \\my son,\his father replied, \there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.\
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v1.0 可编辑可修改 \ 醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” 14.
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,\老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着\学校----慢行\ 15
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么不是说好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
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v1.0 可编辑可修改 16.
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
\ \ \ Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
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A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, \at your feet\
摔倒的女人
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v1.0 可编辑可修改 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗” 18.
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧
19. Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢 20.
Q: What do people do in a clock factory A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 21.
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep A: Keep him awake.
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v1.0 可编辑可修改 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 22.
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的 -- 墓地守墓人。 23.
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. \trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America.\
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请
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初中英语笑话
