Advice for college grads from two sociologists
美国社会学家给大学毕业生的忠告
1. Don't worry about making your dreams come true
1. 追随梦想,不要心慌
College graduates are often told: ”follow your passion/1 do nwhat you love/ what
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you were \ or ”make your dreams come true. Two-thirds think they re going find a job that allows them to change the world, half within five years. Yikes.
大学毕业生们常常会听到,〃追随梦想〃,“做你喜欢做的事〃,〃让你的梦想 成真〃。每当这时,2/3的青年就像是打了鸡血一样,时刻准备找到工作,改变 世界,不过大概其中只有一半在5年后才能做到。
This sets young people up to fail. The truth is that the vast majority of us will not be employed in a job that is both our lifelong passion and a world-changer; thatfs just not the way our global economy is. So it's ok to set your sights just a tad below occupational ecstasy. Just find a job that you like. Use that job to help you have a full life with lots of good things and pleasure and helping others and stuff. A great life is pretty good, even if it's not perfect.
这些鼓励的话常常让大家越来越感到挫败。事实是这样:我们中的大多数都不能 找到一个这样的工作,既能和自己兴趣相投,也可以改变世界。这不怪我们,经 济大环境就那样。所以,还是不要太张狂,能老老实实找一个比较喜欢的工作就 好啦。让这个工作充实你的生活,并且乐于帮助他人。这样的人生就已经很不错 了 /即使它不完美。
2. Make friends
2. 交结朋友
Americans put far too much emphasis on finding Mr. or Ms. Right and getting married. We think this will bring us happiness. In fact, however, both psychological well-being and health are more strongly related to friendship. If you have good friends, yoiTll be less likely to get the common cold, less likely to die from cancer, recover better from the loss of a spouse, and keep your mental acuity as you age. You'll also feel more capable of facing life's challenges, be less likely to feed depressed or commit suicide, and be happier in old age? Having happy friends increases your chance of being happy as much as an extra $ 145,500 a year does? So, make friends!
美国人过于注重谈恋爱,找到理想的另一半,然后步入婚姻殿堂。我们认为婚姻 会给自己带来幸福。事实上,心理和身体的健康都和友谊有着极大关联。如果你 有很多好朋友,那么你患感冒和死于癌症的几率都会降低,也会更好地从失去配 偶的伤痛中恢复过来,而且智力衰退将更慢。面对人生的坎坷,你会更有信心, 抑有0和自杀的几率也会降低,老年生活更幸福。拥有快乐的朋友们会增加你的幸 福感,这幸福感相当于你每年可以多挣145500美元的快感。所以,多交朋友。
3. Don't worry about being single
3. 还是单身?不用担心
Single people, especially women, are stigmatized in our society: weTe all familiar with the image of a sad, lonely woman eating ice cream with her cats in her pajamas on Saturday night. But about 45 percent of US adults aren't married and around one in seven lives alone.
单身人士、尤其是单身女性更容易遭到社会的非议:我们都很熟悉一个场景,周 六晚上,裹着睡袍的女子只有猫咪陪在身边,一脸抑郁地嚼着冰淇淋。但实际上, 美国有45%成年人处于未婚状态,而且其中有1/7独自生活。
This might be you. Research shows that young people's expectations about their marital status (e.g., the desire to be married by 30 and have kids by 32) have little or no relationship to what actually happens to people. So, go with the flow.
也许你也是其中一个。研究表明,年轻人对他们的婚姻规划通常如下:30岁之 前结婚,32岁之前要孩子。但往往事与愿违。所以”就那样吧。
And, if youTe single, youTe in good company. Single people spend more time with friends, volunteer more, and are more involved in their communities than married people? Never-married and divorced women are happier, on average,
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than married women. So, dont buy into the myth of the miserable singleton.
如果是单身你可能会有更多小伙伴陪。单身可以有更多时间和朋友们呆在一起, 更愿意帮助他人,更容易融入各种圈子。平均来讲,从没结婚,或者离婚的女性 更加幸福。所以,不要为还是单身郁郁寡欢。
4. Don't take your ideas about gender and marriage too seriously
4. 不要太在意婚姻中的男女地位
If you do get married, keep going with the flow. Relationship satisfaction, financial security, and happy kids are more strongly related to flexibility in the face of life's challenges than any particular way of organizing families. The most functional families are ones that can bend. So partnering with someone who thinks that one partner should support their families and the other should take responsibility for the house and children is a recipe for disaster. So is being equally rigid about non-traditional divisions of labor. It's okay to have ideas about how to organize your family but your best bet for happiness is to be flexible.
如果已婚,要顺其自然学会变通。t匕起特走的组织家庭的方式,善于应变是夫妻 和