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Making Friends in the USA
In the USA, conversation is less lively than in many other cultures, where everyone talks at the same time. When someone talks, everyone is expected to listen, no matter how dull the person’s speaking may be. If you’re not sure what to talk about, you can ask what people do. We’re defined by our jobs and we’re usually happy to talk about them, unless you’re spy!
Some people say that Americans talk about their feelings more than Asians, but are more secretive about factual matters. You can safely ask questions about families, where you come from, leisure interests, as well as the latest movies. We’re interested in people’s ethnic background too. But it’s best to avoid politics, religion and other sensitive topics. A highly personal conversation can take place after a very short period of knowing someone, but this doesn’t mean that you’re close friends, or the relationship is very deep. But a lot of people are very friendly and hospitable, and the famous invitation “If you’re ever in Minneapolis / San Diego / Poughkeepsie, do call by and see us!” is never made without a genuine desire to meet again.
But while few Americans will worry about the questions you may ask, particularly if you clearly show you’re aware of cultural differences, they may hesitate before they ask you similar questions. In fact, it’s a sign that they don’t wish to violate your private life. So, many Americans will
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talk about safe topics because they don’t dare to be too curious or personal, but will happily talk about more private matters if you take the lead.
Generally we dislike arguments, and we avoid topics which lead to disagreement. It’s easy to return to discussing the weather: “Do you like the USA?” How do you like the weather?” or making compliments: ”What lovely flowers and what a beautiful vase!” “That’s fabulous dress you’re wearing.” You should accept compliments graciously and say “Thank you!”
There are a couple of dangerous topics of conversation: age and money. Age is not treated as something very special, unless someone is very old: “Isn’t she wonderful for her age!” and there are no special rules or signs of extra respect for elderly people. Anyway, Americans always want to look younger than they really are, so don’t expect an accurate reply!
Income is a very private matter, and you’d do well to avoid asking how much people earn, although some people may not only be open about it, but show off their wealth. We don’t ask how much things cost, either.
But what we don’t like is silence, and almost anything is better than the embarrassment for a quiet party and silent guests.
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The AAA
It is estimated that 80% of all conversation in English is small talk. A very important function of small talk is to establish a relationship between people who don’t know each other very well, or don’t know each other at all.
Psychologists say that the most successful formula for small talk between people like this is the AAA model. AAA = answer, add and ask. This is how it works.
Imagine a situation where two strangers are talking to each other after someone they both know has left the room, or the café or party, etc. the first person asks a question: A: Do you live near here?
The second person replies by answering the question, adding some extra information and then asking another question: B: (Answer) Yes, I do.
(Add) In an apartment on Brown Street. (Ask) Do you live nearby too?
The first person does the same, answer, add and ask: A: (Answer) No, I live in Bristol. (Add) I’m just visiting London. (Ask) Have you lived here long? B: (Answer) Not so long.
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(Add) I moved here three years ago.
(Ask) What’s the purpose of you visit to London?
The speakers may have difficulty at first, but they soon realize that the important thing is that they are saying something. By continuing with the AAA model, the conversation continues. Because the thing they both want to avoid is an embarrassing silence.
The conversation can continue in this way for a long time. However, something can happen that completely changes the atmosphere. B: Why do you live in Bristol?
A: I’m studying there. History. Are you a student?
B: Yes. And I know some people who are studying at Bristol. Do you know a girl called Helen Brown?
A: Helen Brown? Yes! She’s on of my best friends! How do you know her?
B: She’s my cousin.
At this point, the AAA model stops. Because they used this very useful technique, they found something they have in common at last.
Module 2 Fantasy Literature
The Cat That Vanished
Will was stupefied with exhaustion, and he might have gone on to the
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north, or he might have laid his head on the grass under one of those trees and slept; but as he stood trying to clear his head, he saw a cat.
She was a tabby, like Moxie. She padded out of a garden on the Oxford side of the road, where Will was standing. Will put down his shopping bag and held out his hand, and the cat came up to rub her head against his knuckles, just as Moxie did. Of course, every cat behaved like that, but all the same Will felt such a longing to turn for home that tears scalded his eyes.
Eventually this cat turned away. This was night, and there was a territory to patrol, there were mice to hunt. She padded across the road and towards the bushes just beyond the hornbeam trees, and there she stopped. Will still watching, saw the cat behave curiously. She reached out a paw to pat something in the air in front of her, something quite invisible to Will. Then she leapt backwards, back arched and fur on end, tail held out stiffly. Will knew cat-behaviour. He watched more alertly as the cat approached the spot again, just an empty patch of grass between the hornbeams and the bushes of a garden hedge, and patted the air once more.
Again she leapt back, but less far and with less alarm this time. After another few seconds of sniffing, touching, whisker-twitching, curiosity overcame wariness.
The cat stepped forward, and vanished.
外研英语知识学习进修6课本学习知识原文（每个模块4篇文章齐全）
