写作技法点拨系列
六、升格作文档次, 打造写作亮点
四步提升作文档次
要在高考英语作文中得到高分, 考生必须让自己的文章有“亮点”, 做到妙笔生花, 体现出高超的语言驾驭能力和谋篇布局的能力。一篇高考英语作文若能做到“结构紧凑、要点齐全、内容连贯、语言丰富”再加上“亮点频现”, 则必能征服阅卷者, 获得高分。
下面我们就以一篇C档考场作文为例, 通过完成每一步后面的升级任务, 来具体体会如何将一篇普通作文升级为优秀作文。
(2019·全国卷Ⅱ)
假定你是校排球队队长李华。请写封邮件告知你的队友Christ 球队近期将参加比赛, 内容包括:
1. 比赛信息; 2. 赛前准备; 3. 表达期望。
注意: 1. 词数100左右; 2. 可以适当增加细节, 以使行文连贯。
Dear Christ,
I’m Li Hua, captain of the school volleyball team. I’m writing to tell you about the upcoming volleyball match.
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The match will be holding in the newly built stadium at 8: 30 next Sunday morning. Make full preparations ahead of time would be appreciated. For the training, please come up a workout plan. You must keep carrying it out. You should get in shape soon. You should attend the team training sessions and meeting. This Friday we’ll watch the video together to study the visiting team. The timetable are attached behind.
I hope we can devote us to become stronger and beat our opponent. Best wishes!
Yours, Li Hua
【升级方案】第1步: 清除简单语言错误
升级任务: 请将文中的9处错误找出来, 并逐一改正。 (1)第二段第一句中的holding改为held。 (2)第二段第二句中的Make改为Making。 (3)第二段第三句中的up后加with。 (4)第二段第五句中的should改为can/will。 (5)第二段第六句中的meeting改为meetings。 (6)第二段第七句中的第一个the改为a。 (7)第二段最后一句中的are改为is。 (8)第三段中的us改为ourselves。 (9)第三段中的become改为becoming。 第2步: 让词语亮丽起来
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升级任务: 请用更高级的词汇替换斜体的单词和短语。 (1)I’m writing to inform you of the upcoming volleyball match.
(2)The match is scheduled to be held in the newly built stadium at 8: 30 next Sunday morning.
(3)For the training, please come up with a workout schedule. (4)You must stick to it.
(5)You are supposed to attend the team training sessions and meetings. 第3步: 让句式丰富多变起来 升级任务: 请根据不同提示表述。 1. 我写信告知你应该准备即将到来的排球赛。
I’m writing to inform you of the upcoming volleyball match that you should prepare for.
2. 作为队员, 如果你提前做好充分的准备我将不胜感激。
Being a member of the team, making full preparations ahead of time would be appreciated.
3. 对于训练, 请制订一个锻炼计划并坚持执行, 以便于你能更快进入状态。 For the training, please come up with a workout schedule and stick to it so that you can get in shape soon.
4. 由于这场比赛受到了两个学校的关注, 我希望我们可以全力以赴变得更强大, 打败我们的对手。
Since the match has drawn great concern from both schools, I hope we can devote ourselves to becoming stronger and beat our opponent. - 3 -
第4步: 巧妙使用连接词
升级任务: 请在下面的横线上填入恰当的衔接过渡词汇, 使文章更加顺畅。 Dear Christ,
I’m Li Hua, captain of the school volleyball team.
The match is scheduled to be held in the newly built stadium at 8: 30 next Sunday morning. Being a member of the team, making full preparations ahead of time would be appreciated. First of all, for the training, please come up with a workout schedule and stick to it so that you can get in shape soon. Besides, you are supposed to attend the team training sessions and meetings. In addition, this Friday we’ll watch a video together to study the visiting team. Furthermore, the time table is attached behind.
As you can see, since the match has drawn great concern from both schools, I hope we can devote ourselves to becoming stronger and beat our opponent.
Best wishes!
Yours, Li Hua
仔细阅读之后, 我们会发现升级后的作文具有五大优点, 即“蠢错不犯、句式多变、巧妙串联、层次不乱、亮点若干”。一篇习作如果具有这五个优点, 必定会是一篇优档的习作。
下文为普通档英语作文, 虽无语法和拼写错误, 但层次不清晰、内容不连贯, 且缺乏文采, 请用上面的技巧将其升级为优档的作文。
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学校图书馆需要购置一批新书, 现向学生征求意见。假如你是李华, 你认为学校图书馆最需要购置科普类图书(popular science books)和文学类图书(literary books)。请你用英语给图书馆王老师写一封信, 推荐这两类书, 并分别说明推荐理由。
注意: 词数100左右; 信的开头与结尾已给出(不计入词数)。
Dear Mr Wang,
Knowing that our library is going to buy books, I’d like to give some suggestions.
I like popular science books most. Usually popular science books explain basic principles of nature in a simple and interesting way. They help us understand science subjects better and know more about science discoveries.
In addition, we read for fun and inspirations. So I recommend another category of books, literary books. Classic works were written by masters and can offer us great thoughts, interesting stories and language. They offer us joy and excitement, encourage us to think critically.
I’ll be glad if you can consider my recommendation.
Yours sincerely, Li Hua 【升级范文】 Dear Mr Wang,
Knowing that our library is going to buy books, I’d like to give some suggestions concerning it.
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2021版高考英语通用版大二轮复习--写作技法点拨系列 六word版
