.. 101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The 101 试播 莫妮卡的新室友 Uncut Version) [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.] 没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！ Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with! 少来了，你和那个人一起出去！拜托，和你交Joey: Come on, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be 往的男人一定有问题！ something wrong with him! 打住，乔伊，嘴下留德。他驼背？既驼背又带Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? 假发？ A hump and a hairpiece? Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? (They all stare, bemused.) 慢着，他吃粉笔吗？ 我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。 Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh! 各位别急，这不算约会。我们不过是出去吃晚Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's 餐，而且不做爱。 just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. [Time Lapse] 听起来好像是说我的约会。 记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，突然发Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in 现自己全身赤裸。 the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. 我做过那样的梦。 All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream. 我低头一看，看见有一支……在那儿。 Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... 而不是……？ there. Joey: Instead of...? Chandler: That's right. Joey: Never had that dream. Phoebe: No. 没错。 我没做过那样的梦,没有。 那支突然响起，而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。 Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't 他们以前不看你吗？！ know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?! 终于，我认为我应该接，结果是我妈打来，我感到很奇怪，因为我妈不曾打过给我！ .下载可编辑.
.. Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never 嗨。 calls me! [Time Lapse, Ross has entered.] Ross: (mortified) Hi. Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. Monica: Are you okay, sweetie? 这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。 你还好吧？ 我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙，抓起我的肠子，从我的口中取出，然后绑在我脖上…… 饼干？ Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed 卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了。 my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... Chandler: Cookie? - 我帮你泡杯咖啡， 了。 Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh. Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee. Ross: Thanks. 不要……别清理我的灵气。可是……别碰我的灵气就是了。 好吧，保持晦气！ 我会没事的，真的，我祝她幸福。 Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front - 不，你不会的，没错， of Ross.) - 我不会的，去她的，她甩掉我！ Ross: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my 而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。 aura alone, okay? Phoebe: Fine! Be murky! 没有！！行了吧？！为何大家都围着这个话题打转？连她不知道，我怎会知道。 Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll 有时真希望自己也是个女同志。我刚刚大声说be very happy. Monica: No you don't. Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me! Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian... 出来了吗？ 昨晚我告诉我父母，他们好像还挺好。 真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个，一个女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉，“我不能抱子了， Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She 我不能抱子了。”那是什么？打错了？ didn't know, how should I know? 对不起。 Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare 别闷闷不乐了，罗斯。你现在很痛苦。你一肚at him.) Did I say that out loud? 子火,心如刀割。我能告诉你解决之道吗？ .下载可编辑.
.. Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well. 脱衣舞酒店。你单身，有性需求。 Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a 我不想单身的。我只想再结婚。 woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., \never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren.\ A wrong number? Ross: Sorry. 我只想要一百万！ Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer 瑞秋？！ is? (Ross gestures his consent.) 天啊，莫妮卡，天地！我到过你的住处，你不在。有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones! 儿，结果你真的在这儿。 Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just 想来杯咖啡吗？ wanna be married again! 无咖啡因的。各位，她叫瑞秋，另一位从林肯(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the 高中生存下来的人。这位叫钱德勒，菲比，乔room.) 伊。还记得我哥罗斯吗？ Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his 当然。 hand hopefully.) Monica: Rachel?! 嗨。 Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are! Waitress: Can I get you some coffee? 你想现在告诉我们，还是等四位伴娘来了再Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, 说？ this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This 婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。我在堆放礼物的is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you 房间里，看着船形卤肉盘，非常漂亮的船形卤remember my brother Ross? Rachel: Hi, sure! Ross: Hi. 肉盘，突然间……（有没有代糖？）我了解船形卤肉盘此巴瑞更能引起我的“性趣”，我自己都吓了一跳，巴瑞愈看愈像猪头先生。我一(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down 直都认为他很眼熟。总之,我必须离开。我开defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits 始想，我为何这么做？我为谁这样做？于是我.下载可编辑.
.. and the others expect her to explain.) 不知该走往何处，我知道你我日渐疏远。但是Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four 你是我在这个城市，认识的唯一一个人。 wet bridesmaids? Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really 没被受邀参加婚礼的人。 gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the 这件事就甭提啦。 waitress that brought her coffee) Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much 我猜他送她一台管风琴，她肯定不喜欢， Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, 金枪鱼还是鸡蛋沙拉？快决定！ and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing 我要拥有克莉丝汀拥有的一切。 我不能嫁给他……对不起，我只是不爱他。this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to 爸，go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're 对，这对我来说就有关系！ the only person I knew who lived here in the city. Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding. Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... 如果我没了头发，还不如去死。 [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a 她不该穿那条裤子。 Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going 我建议推她下楼， on.] 推她下楼！推她下楼！推她下楼！ Monica: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it. Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg 爸，你听我说……大家这样评价我这一辈子：salad? Decide! 你是一只鞋……今天我倒想看看如果我不再Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having. 是鞋会怎样。我说如果我想当皮包呢？ Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm 或是帽子呢？不，我不需你帮我买帽子。我说sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me! 我是一顶帽子。爸，这是一种比喻。 (The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.) 你看他也有些问题。 .下载可编辑.
.. Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. 爸，这是我的人生。或许我会和莫妮卡住在这。 Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. Joey: I say push her down the stairs. 我想我们已确定好谁要和莫妮卡住在这儿。 Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! (She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.) 或许那是我的决定。或许我不希罕你的钱。 等一下，等一下……我说的是或许！！ Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're 深呼吸，就这样。试着想着美好的事物…… a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped 玫瑰上的雨滴，猫嘴上的胡须，门铃和雪橇之and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna 类的。啦 啦 啦……还有手套…… be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy! Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble. 我现在好多了。 Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here 我的功劳。 with Monica. Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with 或许这样最好，要自立，决定自己的事情。 Monica... Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need 有任何需要找乔伊准没错。我和钱德勒就住在your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!! [Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.] 对面，而且他经常不在家。 乔伊,少趁虚而入了，今天是她大喜的日子。 Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think 什么？有规定不能吗？ of nice calm things... Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) 别再这样，声音很刺耳。 bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la 我是保罗。 la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few... 让他进来！ Rachel: I'm all better now. 保罗是谁？ Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler 调酒的那个保罗？ and Joey.) I helped! 或许吧。 Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? 等等,你今晚该不是真的要和调酒的那个保罗Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' 约会吧？ .下载可编辑.
老友记第一季第一集中英文对照台词
